Look im a little fat. I have a great boyfriend who loves me. You will find one too. I wish I had more recent pictures because that was when I starved myself. Just because your "fat" doesnt mean your not beautiful. You will find someone. You and I both know that you will find someone

Im so broken. Whats wrong with me?

What is love? What is happiness?

I dont know anymore I lost them both.

I dont know if im happy or sad.

I know im numb and broken.

What am I supposed to do now?

How can I be happy?

What does happy mean?

You tell me to be happy.

Yet you and everyone else who cares leaves me.

That isnt fair for me. I cant do this much longer.

Suicide is comming back. I dont know whats making me hold on.

I dont have anything to hold on too.

Maybe the hopes that Ill get better?

Silly hope. Its been a year. I dont think Im getting better

Sorry Amy, Mom, Austin, Austins mom (our mom), Jamie, Kelsey, And so much more people.

Im not who you think I am. Im not going to get better Jamie, Im sorry.

I hope I die soon. I cant wait for it.

Im told "I hate you" almost everyday. I put up with it because im scared if I dont youll commite suicide. I take the verbal abuse people put on me because if I dont they might commite suicide. What is wrong with this world today. All it is, is depressing.

I wish people would atleast seem to appreciate the little things I try and do for them. Its hard on me. Especially when im told "I hate you" I seem to be taken advantage of. I hate it Yet I cant let anyone not take advantage of me. It seems so unfair to the person.

I feel like im not helping you,

I hope I am, but I dont feel like I am.

Im sorry.

Im sorry,

I cant help,

Im not a perfect example for this.

Im sorry

That im to messed up

I feel empty.

Empty and alone.

Where are you?

I miss you.

Are you lying to me,

Or telling the truth?

I cant tell.

Please be telling the truth,

I wouldnt be able to live

If you werent.

Ron Hi Kaylabug. I sent you a package. It should be there sometime this week. Open the gifts before the card OK. I really hope you like it. I put alot of thought into it. Talk to you later. Love ya.

Well I got his gift today. Its a necklace and a bracelet. I read the card he gave me after opening to gifts like he said to do. I cried because hes the father I never had. Hes the father I actually dont want. I want my daddy. The one who was supposed to raise me, Love me, Care for me. The one who didnt do that and did worst things ever. Instead I have him. I appreciate it I really do. I just wish I had my Daddy instead. Im wearing the necklace but the bracelet is way to big. I wish someone would realize how much pain im in from not having my daddy.